vivilee's Diaryland Diary

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blackheart

I think I finally figured out what the black heart dream means. I've purged something out of me, perhaps it's my father.

Something, some kind of personality trait maybe has left me that my father has still.

It's actually a good dream because the heart was outside of myself.

Maybe it's the fact that I just don't love my father and I feel guilty. Yes, it's something along those lines.

He is my father. I wish I could love him but I don't think I ever will. His actions have only caused me grief, depression, sadness, dread, insecurity, self-hatred, anger and every other negative emotion. I associate him with everything negative about myself.

So finally, it's come out. I now realize why I dislike him so much and now it's out of me.

12:37 p.m. - 2002-11-22

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