vivilee's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- confucious Now, if I were to eradicate all want of a better body, better skin and a better job for more money then I would be a lazy bum. But when I focus too hard on wanting the shallow things of life like money and beauty then I become really depressed because I feel like I'm not getting anywhere. I guess the point is to find the right median and stay near that range. I want a better body and better skin but I won't get depressed and suicidal if I get another wrinkle or if a cream doesn't work. Sure I'd like to have a great job that's close to home but I have to realise that I could just be wanting that because I'm lazy. Truthfully, I am lazy. I am overbearing, hard to get along with, draining and I'm making Ivan miserable. The thing is there is no perfect job for me. I have to just be more tolerant. Sure, Confucious says that if you find a job you like you'll never work anothe day in your life. The thing is the kind of job I like doesn't exist because everyone wants the same kind of job. Wanting what is rare...it's so fucking frustrating. 2:20 a.m. - 2003-04-28 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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