vivilee's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- eyeball I had a dream. My right eye is featured in my dream and it is blinded by a milky white substance directly over my pupil. I touch it and examine it in the mirror. The next night I have the recurring symbol of my eye, this time disembodied. The eye is what I am unable to see I think. I'm blinded by something. Some sort of milky obstacle right over my eye. Eye - seeing, observing Right - right-brained, more intuitive, more artistic Blindness - unable to see, strange, blocked, kind of gross This is a warning dream I think, a dream that is telling me that I'm not listening or seeing through my right eye, the eye that is more intuitive and artistic. I need to lead a more artistic, intuitive, kinesthetic life, that's who I am, that's how I thrive. At CCI, I'm not appreciated for my artistic abilities. Only when I sing do I feel truly appreciated but inside, I'm too scared to really go for it because I need more encouragement from my peers, from Ivan. I know I'm a good singer, people tell me I have a good voice however, I've never had anyone tell me to go for it, really go for a recording contract or something. If I heard one person qualified to tell me that, then I think I would do it...I would pursue it seriously. What I'm doing instead is being more practical by pursueing a career in the graphic arts. For some reason, I feel more confident and secure in my design abilities rather than my singing. However, my design abilities are like my singing abilities I think...not quite as good as I want. Then again, who's ever completely happy with what they do anyway. I would love to be a singer. I would certainly love to make a living as a singer. If the opportunity arises, I'll take it...if not, I'll take the next best thing, a graphics position and just sing karaoke to make up for the other dream I guess. Sleepy. 1:51 a.m. - 2003-03-04 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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