vivilee's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- getting out of financial fuckery The store is a big fucking pain the ass. Ivan has given up on it so now I'm stuck with it and forced to deal with it. I want to shut it down. I can't stand it anymore. I hate struggling for money and I can't see the store making any more money because it is so hopeless with all the bigger chains around us. Soon they will carry all the products we have. How can my fucking stupid store compete with no capital and so many rules regarding product selection. It's just too much. I hate dealing with the stupid people who come in and ask stupid questions. I hate the stupid dogs who shit and pee everywhere. I hate the people who have no consideration and keep me from going home when we are trying to close. There are so many things working against the store. I have such a big problem to deal with and I don't know how to deal with it. I applied to a nursing program that seems to be the right fit for me. They just want people who have a university degree and a personal statement explaining why they want to be a nurse. I worked very hard on the personal statement and explained why my marks weren't very good. I don't meet the minimum marks requirement but, I'm hoping they will overlook that because of my personal statement. I don't expect that they will accept me because my marks are pretty bad. But I am still obsessed with their answer. I guess I just have to hear a "NO" to really put the nail into my future fate. I will finally admit to myself that I have had a fucking hard life. Seriously, anyone else get molested repeatedly by 3 different creeps and their uncle? WTF? Why the fuck did that happen to me? WTF? And who's fucking own mother doesn't give a fuck about that shit? How fucked up is that? That was my mother! OMFG. No wonder I was so fucking stupid in high school and crazy in university. It was amazing that I even graduated. Not that I deserve an award or anything but seriously...I'd like God to give me a break. I think I deserve a break--at least financially. Perhaps God or my own higher self believes I deserve my situation. I have finally figured out how to lose weight. So maybe that was the trade-off. Whatever. I'm still going to try to get out of this financial fuckery. 11:22 p.m. - 2011-02-22 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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