vivilee's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- the plan Frustrated that I didn't realize earlier in my life how important sciences were to succeed financially. I could also just take my arts degree further and just go all the way to PH.D. but I've heard that arts profs are not getting jobs or very good good pay anymore. Who knows. I am frustrated by the blocks in my way. Nothing is easy. It used to be so much easier. Now that I want to go back into school there are so many roadblocks. For instance, just applying to schools costs an arm and a leg. I didn't even bother applying to university programs because I couldn't afford it! I want to do something worthwhile, respected and financially rewarding. Nursing is all those things but, it seems as if I don't have the marks or proper prerequisites. So, now I have to upgrade and that will mean 4 years at least until I actually start working again. Is it the process that is a part of life as well? I suppose it is. I'm not that young anymore. In fact, anyone else my age would think I was nuts for going back to school and especially for nursing. Not everybody but I'm sure most. I don't fucking care. I don't want to have kids. And I don't think it is selfish not to want kids. I will not just have a kid just because...I will so not be happy as a mother and that will not make a good one. I am so over Paul. I realize that he lacks any kind of empathy or compassion. He is borderline sociopath. When I realized this, the infatuation completely deflated. The feelings are pretty much negligible. I might have little sparks but, for the most part, I know I can forget about him. I could become a medical transcriptionist. That would be the easiest path provided I get funding from OSAP. I'm hoping I'll get into Practical Nursing at Centennial or George Brown. That way I can always try to get into the R.N. program right after or just become a R.P.N. Or I can do it all and do nursing part-time and transcription part-time. Why the hell not--I am quite motivated and focused when I want to be and can accomplish anything I set out to do provided I have committed. That sounds like a good plan to me. Just needed to have it written out. I can live with a life like that. Medical transcriptionist and R.P.N. I would always have job stability! And when I get too tired from nursing I can always fall back on transcription. Freaking awesome plan. Now let's hope I get into a program somewhere. 2:21 a.m. - 2011-02-09 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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