vivilee's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- analyse I quit my job at CCI because I couldn't help them in anyway. I tried my best to help but it was always one excuse after the other. The problem with Chinese people--they can't communicate, they are disorganized and they are scatterbrained. For the most part. White people are worse. They're mean and they always try to cheat you. Most of them are ignorant and racist. I suppose I'm being racist by discriminating by lumping races into these stereotypes. I don't care, I feel a little pissed right now. These views are not my normal everyday views. I'm frustrated and angry that I haven't been able to hold down a job. I'm not desperate for a job. In fact, I'd rather not work at all. But because of the way society works, I need to get a fucking job to make fucking money so I can buy fucking things. I want to be rich but becoming rich really baffles me, I just don't understand at all how people do it and how they get to that point. I mean you have people who are complete idiots like Gordon and Mary--who have no skills, bad English and yet they are millionaires. Sure, they work hard but they're so stupid about the way they do things. That's the thing though, I wouldn't trade place with them for anything. They worry constantly about money, about trusting people, they lead extremely stressful lives. Because they're so stupid, they end up losing a lot of money, so the vicious cycle starts again. For instance, Gordon will buy junk and then store it in his warehouse where it takes up room and prevents him from storing things that actually sell. Why does he do this? Because he's stupid and can't say no. Mary is stupid because she should be able to be a smart woman and get him to stop buying crap. Anyway, it sickens me the way they do things. They never listen to anyone and the place is so tacky and dusty. It makes me cringe. The thing is I'm smarter than they are and I'm still here looking for a job. What the fuck. I have no credit so I can't start a business by getting a loan from the bank. It sucks. Everything sucks. If I had the resources I would open up a nohraebang right fucking next to those other ones on Yonge Street and take all their fucking business. I'd make it beautiful and really cool. I wouldn't allow smoking and each room would be equipped with a camera so that no illegal activity goes on. I would ban punks--they can go to the seedy ones. That would be so satisfying. That fucking bastard at Twister karaoke can kiss my ass. I'd make life hell for him. The problem is the hours. See, if I ran a Karaoke, it would do so well. It'd be the hottest hangout. As well, it would do well as a franchise and I would be rich. I'm absolutely certain of this, 100% and I know everyone would agree with me. I have all the tools. I just need the goddamn money. There's got to be a way for me to get money to start up. I am so lazy. It would take a lot of effort to find out ways to get money for my vision. That's why I'd never make it as an entrepreneur. I wish I never screwed up my credit. Why can't things be easier. Well, I guess I'll just put it on hold until my credit clears. I still owe the government some money... So the steps to my credit freedom will be to first get a normal job. Pay off the small debt. Wait until the credit clears and then go from there. The thing is I've got to find a job I can stick with for more than 2-3 months. The longest I've ever had a job was 8 months. Why do I have this problem? It's the same with every job. I meet someone who makes me miserable. That person is usually very domineering, very assy like my dad. And how do I handle my dad? I just avoid him completely. So that's what I do at work, I leave. See, that's not the way to handle it, but honestly people like dad, there are no other ways to handle them. I hate people like my dad. If I had nut loose in my head I'd probably kill them all. So basically I need to find a job where I don't deal with any people at all because people like my dad are everywhere. I can't avoid them. I need a very independent job, no people involved really. The less I deal with people, the better. I'm just not a people person. I can act like I'm a people person, but I'm too sensitive. I end up so passive and unobtrusive. My ideal job to get me out of credit funk is, one that doesn't deal with a lot of people, I'm left alone to do my job and I'm recognized for the hard work. I really enjoyed work where I was just left alone. And the results were astonishing. For instance, at Molson where I did all the photocopying and binding. Same with LGS. Some places where I was left alone though, they didn't appreciate my hard work and that sucked. I also think I would do well in a library setting just putting away books and checking them in and out. Just really independent, leave me alone type jobs. As long as I am appreciated. I would be happy with that and I know I'd go along way as long as I got the recognition. And then once my credit is free, I would put forth all my effort into building the best Karaoke business in the world. 1:30 p.m. - 2003-03-27 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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